Some Tears, Some Cheers

I had a good cry, as of recently. It was a momentary break that was needed. I was told that I was misinformed about my status a man. Moreover, I was enlightened by the fact that I deserve to have a cry every now and again because of my “unique” status as an “outsider waving through a window”. I had my friend, Levana and Bernard, to remind me of that.

“You are a gay, light-skinned black foreigner who comes from America.”

That’s what Levana had to remind me after I spend the day being disrespected by different people for different reasons. I had a Chinese individual turn his back on me because he said (in his native tongue) that he rather hang with his own kind. Later, I had the delight of experiencing the classic colorism from a darker skin foreigner. Then, I had to be reminded that I was considered an outcast from my LGBTQ+ community because I don’t fit into some of the stereotypes. And, finally, because of my President’s constant antics, I have to deal with people telling me that I don’t belong anywhere as America is considered World Enemy #1. All that boiled over and caused me to break down in tears. It was the first time in a very long time that I cried.

You know…I think the last time I cried was a year after my grandfather’s funeral. I remember letting everybody else get their tears out and told myself that I would cry later. I guess I forgot to give myself the space to let out my emotions.

Levana told me something that I need to hear. She told me that, despite what I was told, being black, alone, gives us permission to cry. We need to let it out because it allows to continue on with our head high. She even divulged to me that she takes the time to cry, sigh and move on about a few month or so because that’s how she keeps to her zen state of mind.

Bernard told me that I deserve a good cry after everything we talked about. He’s a man that shares some of the same hardship as me and even he takes the time out to breath so he can let it all out. We talked about the unfair toxicity among men and their emotions afterwards. It was the two-for-one therapy session that I need. I thank God for them everyday.

On a brighter note, though, I finished writing all 45 short stories. Now, I just have to type them all up. That’s going to be interesting because, ironically, I’m a mediocre typer. Actually…I write faster than I type. So, this is going to be a real fun time for me. I’m just happy that I’m almost done with Phase 1 of my SS Project.

Now, please, don’t forget to follow me on my social media platforms (Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads) which are on the right side of my web page. Also, I do love hearing suggestions of what books to read outside of my norm (Science fiction and Fantasy) as I am a part of the Goodreads’ reading challenge for 2020. My goal is to read 100 books this year and I’m already at 94. Probably end up reading 120 before the year is out.