Well, I cried this week…
It wasn’t a big one; it was more of a sobbing fit. Unfortunately, it was enough for people to notice. I don’t like crying because I have it locked in my brain that “men don’t cry; men don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves because it makes them look weak.” But, today…today was the day that I couldn’t keep it all in anymore.
I lost the job with the photographer. He told me that it was nothing I did wrong, just needed some time for spiritual reflection. But, it still hurt because I put in so much work with so many stories and, now, they’re in limbo. I don’t blame him…I don’t like placing blame – never did. It never solves anything and it won’t change the past. Still hurts like hell but I guess that’s the life of a writer…just sucks, this feeling. And it didn’t stop there.
My other “potential” contract job has, yet, to reach out to me or answer my phone call which sucks because I know it would be an amazing collaboration. I don’t what I did wrong and I still can’t help but think it’s my fault. Now, I have so many stories and content with no one to share it with. Add to that the overwhelming stress of customers and the crippling mall hours and I just I broke down a for a minute. It just happened all of a sudden.
But, after the sob, I picked myself up and, now, I’m back to brainstorming how to acquire more clients. I have to remember that I can’t let myself have a pity party for too long. “We’re black, Justin,” my mom would always say, “You don’t get to stay sorry for yourself for too long. Take a moment to yourself and keep moving forward.”
Well, at least, I’m finally getting my Nintendo Switch this weekend…that’s something to smile about, right? Along with my health, life, friends, and family. “Always celebrate the small victories.”
Please, don’t forget to follow me on my social media platforms (Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads) which are on the right side of my web page. Also, I do love hearing suggestions of what books to read outside of my norm (Science fiction and fantasy) as I am a part of the Goodreads’ reading challenge for 2018.
