Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
The duality of criminology
What if I actually acted on my darkest thought in my youth?
A Dialogue Among United Darkness was that one story that was needed to purge out of my system. This story was something that tugging at me for the longest time because it was one of the darkest moments in my teen years. It’s not a moment that I’m particularly proud of and the fact that I’m willing to relive it all is a big step for me. Now, let me start from the beginning.
I remembered it like it was yesterday. I was feeling good about the fact that I was getting a hold of my gift and was writing stories that were intriguing me. And, then, it happened. My cousins came in and ruin it. They send their usual waves of invalidation and blatant bullying while claiming that they were just “preparing me for the real world” with their usual evil smirk. It was at the moment that I said what I said: “If you don’t leave me, I will grab a knife and drive it into your heart.”
The room went silent and my grandma looked at me with a face that was riddled in shocked sadness. I think she felt like she failed to provide proper support against my cousins and didn’t know what to say at the time. But it was my cousins’ response that created a full rift between us. They wanted to call my buff and I responded by going into the kitchen and grabbing the knife while making it clear that I would kill them and sleep like a baby because I would have rid the world of them. Now that got their attention and they shut their mouth as my grandma held me back. Their eyes of shock and horror stayed with me and the idea of A Dialogue Among United Darkness was born.
I only used my two biggest adversaries for this story: my cousin, Dominque, and his father, Dwayne. They took a huge joy around my life miserable didn’t like it when I was happy. So, when I made that threat, I never saw them again. I guess it either because they got the reaction that I wanted or they didn’t anticipate that level of reaction. But I highly doubt that they were afraid of me. They were not invited to my Trunk Party and I even blocked them on all social media when I got to college. Along with my other cousins, they attempted to make amends with me, but I wasn’t hearing it which my grandma wasn’t a fan of but understood nevertheless. So, when I wrote the story I made the characters similar to my relationship with them.
I took cues from my favorite gothic writer and wanted to explore the criminal mind. Not all criminals are socio- and psychopath. Some of them just snapped and did something that was out of character for them. That would have been me if it wasn’t for my grandma calming me down. Of course, I wasn’t going to do such a heinous act of violence. I definitely don’t have the stomach for blood and I sure as hell wouldn’t survive in prison. Plus, I have a future to contend to and I wasn’t going to let a group of nobodies ruin it for me. But I didn’t tell them that. I wanted them to leave me alone and the mere thought was more implanted in their mind. That’s what I wanted to focus on. Both sides.
The main character isn’t meant to be me though it does look that way when you read it. Instead, it meant to represent the yin to the other character’s yang. Or is it the other way around…I forget. Anyway, I also wanted to show what could happen to a victim of bullying and abuse if someone doesn’t step in at the right moment. I found this story to be therapeutic because I was able to get the rest of my rage I had for my cousins out of my system.
Actually, come to think of it, the twist that I have at the end of the story was very satisfying for me. However, my brother wasn’t too much of a fan and prays that my cousins don’t read it. The thought crossed my mind but I really care if they read it. It’s better that I wrote it and got the rage out of my system. I don’t – nor will ever – forgive them but, at least, I don’t hate them. And, with that, I hope you enjoy the story.
You can buy the book on Amazon. The link is here.
You can also learn about it on Goodreads. The link for it is here.
